Moses & Francis in…Whose Day Is it?
October 4, 2007
In celebration of the alignment of Simchat Torah and the Feast of St Francis we bring you…Moses & Francis in…Whose Day Is it?
By j. Snodgrass
(Written 2 October, 2007 for use on 4 October, 2007)
The Cast :
Moses
Francis
Setting : Today. MOSES is sitting at a table, doing a book-signing, with a stack of identical books beside him. There are animals on the stage, milling. FRANCIS walks on, sees MOSES, freaks out like a nerdy
fanboy.
FRANCIS : (Speaking very fast)
Holy Moses! Oh, man! I can’t believe it! I’m your biggest fan! I LOVED your five books. Actually I skipped the ones in the middle, but I LOVED the rest. Will you sign one for me?
MOSES :
Sure. Who should I make it out to?
FRANCIS :
Francis.
MOSES : (While writing)
To…my…good…friend..
FRANCIS :
Oh, and put the date.
MOSES :
Right. Um…and what’s today’s date again?
FRANCIS :
Saint Francis day, of course!
MOSES :
What?
FRANCIS :
The feast of Saint Francis.
MOSES :
Excuse me?
FRANCIS :
Look around! See all these people? And the animals? They’re here tocelebrate me.
MOSES :
Young man, I think you’ve been listening to the wrong birds, these people are here for me. Moses. Today is my day. The day we celebrate my death and the creation of the world. My death. Creation of the world. Two important events. Get it?
FRANCIS :
Alright, cool down, I know about your temper.
MOSES :
Oh, no you don’t. Not until you walk in here with your hippie mysticism, and start telling me whose day it is. That’s the day my temper’s gonna bury you, son.
FRANCIS : (Laughs like it’s an inside joke)
Like you buried that other guy–
MOSES : (Cuts him off. Serious. Stands, comes around to the front of
the table.)
Yeah. Your daddy. Now go hug a tree or something. Shave your head, get some piercings, or whatever it is you kids do. We’re here to celebrate me and my books.
FRANCIS :
But, I mean, couldn’t it be a day for both of us?
MOSES:
Are you blind? One table. One stack of books. One day. Mine.
FRANCIS :
Well yeah, but… I wrote too, poetry. Canticle to the Sun. Sure, it’s not the…Shema, or anything, but…people like it.
MOSES :
You’re that Francis? You know, improbable as it may sound, I think I read some of your work. Bright and cheerful one minute, dark and morbid the next.
FRANCIS :
That’s exactly right. Kind of like Simchat Torah, a continuing cycle of death and rebirth. Truly, you and I have a lot in common. But what’s most important…is that we all agree on one thing.
MOSES :
…Which is?
FRANCIS :
That all of life and death…ultimately center around Christ Jesus.
MOSES :
I never agreed on that! What the hell are you talking about?
FRANCIS :
Oh… Sorry, I…forgot. You didn’t know about that yet. So, um… What’s really important…I meant to say…is that we both agree on the wonder of God’s creation. And, I mean, nobody put it better than you. In Genesis? Man! How did you even find the words?
MOSES :
…To be honest?
FRANCIS :
Lay it on me.
MOSES :
Ghost-written. Pretty much all of it ghost-written.
(Pause.)
FRANCIS : (Dumbfounded. Then, has a realization)
Oh! I get it! Ghost-written! Like, the holy ghost, right?
(Gestures hitting a joint.)
MOSES :
Kids these days.
(They join hands and bow. THE END.)